Ashita no Anime

Anime of Tomorrow

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes (review)

Final impression – why is there a second season of this trash? (2/10)

Autumn 2010 (12 episodes) (title literal translation – Detective Opera Milky Holmes)

Nero the entitled brat, Cordelia the blonde bourgeois, Elly the timid muscle head and Sheryl the pitiful excuse for a leader make up the snooty magic girl-detective troupe, Milky Holmes.  Unbelievably, they were the pride of their academy, solving childish mysteries that make The Boxcar Children book series look sophisticated and classy.  Additionally, they brought criminals to justice through the use of their toys (ie: superpowers).  But one night, they finally met their match against their greatest rivals, The Phantom Thieves, a team of jewel burglars that are iconic comic-book-style villains.  In the battle, Milky Holmes lose their toys.  The Thieves could have just continued their crime spree unabated, but instead, they inexplicably take interest in Milky Holmes and infiltrate the detective academy to further torment them in their disgrace.

I’m mindful of the phrase, “garbage in, garbage out,” when I see bad anime like Milky Holmes.  Rotten from its most basic premises—it’s as if the creators read a book titled “What Not to Do When Making an Anime” and were so thick they followed the advice to the letter to make the worst possible formula. None of the characters—hero or villain—are likeable in any of their characteristics.  They’re all ugly and their personalities are so shallow they’d drown in an eyedropper.  You’d have to be an 8 year old to think this has any entertainment value whatsoever.  Yet I’m aware the anime has some fairly risque ecchi scenes, and given its popularity I’m lead to conclude there must be a large demographic of 16+ men with the cognitive development of a third grader. I’ve seen worse anime, but I’m pretty certain the only reason this show even exists is to be a signature title for the Bushiroad company, because the four main characters are tailored to fit the mechanics of the Weiss Schwarz card game.

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